Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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