I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize