I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just cropdusted the office
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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