Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize