she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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