Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
