Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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