Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
