I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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