uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
