Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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