Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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