The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
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drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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