I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
