i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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