no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
