I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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