Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
