Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Couch. On fire.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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