please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
