he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
