Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize