the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
