Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize