the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
