I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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