I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
