so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
