Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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