So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
