ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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