Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
