I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
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The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
why does every cop we meet know your name?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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