He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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