i just google imaged poop.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
