i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I had to cum in my sink.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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