Soap is not a condiment
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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