Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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