Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
