I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
