Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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