it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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