I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The beer is more important than you right now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
