there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
