exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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