You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I am naked and annoyed.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
