That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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