Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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