remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
