Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
