thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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