Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
