BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
