Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
