I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
