i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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