She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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