yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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