apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
