the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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