And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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