So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
