Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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