Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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