textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
