so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize