i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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