i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
