Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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