apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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