The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
